my excuse

for so long, an excuse for grace is "its my weakness."
you tell me
YOU'RE sufficent during those times,
not an excuse.
not that excuse.
because if i wanted, truly truly wanted to change and give up all i have and "surrender" to you i wouldnt just leave it at words and at an excuse.
because thats not enough! and you've been so patient while i slowly crawl to figured it out.
i'm desperate, here. i'm so completly desperate for this heart and life and most of all mind, for these things to just change.
and i need you, i need the strength of you. and the obedience to know that i have to actually obey and not just when i get that "itch" to misbehave that an excuse is always free, always so accesible and ready to be used. eager to be used! "we all have fallen sort of you."
to me, anymore, its not enough.
and i know, i really know i'm always going to fall, and i will continue to fall. but i cant prevent some of them.
because anything that seperates me from you, its not worth it.
that shot isnt worth it.