your love.
do not let me
LET YOU GO.
I RUN I RUN I RUN SO QUICKLY SO EAGERLY SO IMPULSIVE..LY.
mistakes more mistakes more mistakes again and always again. trip fall
..whynotfallalittlemore.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
always always so easily run away,
and i dont get it. i do not understand it.
what i hate the most is knowing
my life
doesnt reflect yours.
i dont get the balance.
give me PEACE. you're the best at that!
show me your way. your thoughts, feed me that PASSION again.
you're all i WANT to crave.
you gave.. it all. i want to give my all.
too.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
i have found the greatest love. and now in comparison ... everything compared is nothing.
searching the entire world theres no other beauty like the beauty of sitting with doors closed, my bed room floor in your soft brilliant presence..
i have compared all else to this feeling and theres nothing better.
and my hearts broken because theres still a huge part of me thats lonely but when i have what i've been thinking i want i only want to spend that time with you and i dont want to be the grass is always greener sort of girl but i want to be balanced in all areas and i want to have a family and i want all these things that my heart chases after but sometimes it gets so covered with too many thoughts and theres gotta be something better type of thinking and this perfect prince in my head thats going to be crazy and love you and hilarious and really really tall and still so passionate about being a child of you.
and i'm only 24 and i want to be single but i feel like if i dont know who i'm going to marry
then the future is a MESS.
but hey!! silly kid you should know THIS HOPE WE HAVE
IS
UNLIMITED.
un
limit
eddddddddddddddddd
okokokokokokk
(live it out. now)
searching the entire world theres no other beauty like the beauty of sitting with doors closed, my bed room floor in your soft brilliant presence..
i have compared all else to this feeling and theres nothing better.
and my hearts broken because theres still a huge part of me thats lonely but when i have what i've been thinking i want i only want to spend that time with you and i dont want to be the grass is always greener sort of girl but i want to be balanced in all areas and i want to have a family and i want all these things that my heart chases after but sometimes it gets so covered with too many thoughts and theres gotta be something better type of thinking and this perfect prince in my head thats going to be crazy and love you and hilarious and really really tall and still so passionate about being a child of you.
and i'm only 24 and i want to be single but i feel like if i dont know who i'm going to marry
then the future is a MESS.
but hey!! silly kid you should know THIS HOPE WE HAVE
IS
UNLIMITED.
un
limit
eddddddddddddddddd
okokokokokokk
(live it out. now)
Thursday, April 3, 2008
worship
i'm not sure how people could live everyday like this, just as is.
without the passion, without the taste of you. without realizing the taste of you. Father i pray that you cure this heart, i pray you fill it so full of you Father i cant fill it with anything else. i pray for a vision and a focus, a heart totally onto you father, i pray you free us from depression and self esteem issues Father and i pray that in place you store a beautiful peace and joy from you Father. i pray you teach us what it means to live lives totally devoted to you, my King. i pray you fill our hearts with a deep, sincere passion and trust in YOU. and not in ourselves, Lord God.
i pray you help us reach our community, that when we say we're known and know our community, that that is the truest at its fullest Father. i pray that you help me trust in you and your life plans for me, Jesus. what a beautiful name.. thank you for your salvation. i loveeeeeeee you my Jesus. my beautiful beautiful savior. love you forever.
without the passion, without the taste of you. without realizing the taste of you. Father i pray that you cure this heart, i pray you fill it so full of you Father i cant fill it with anything else. i pray for a vision and a focus, a heart totally onto you father, i pray you free us from depression and self esteem issues Father and i pray that in place you store a beautiful peace and joy from you Father. i pray you teach us what it means to live lives totally devoted to you, my King. i pray you fill our hearts with a deep, sincere passion and trust in YOU. and not in ourselves, Lord God.
i pray you help us reach our community, that when we say we're known and know our community, that that is the truest at its fullest Father. i pray that you help me trust in you and your life plans for me, Jesus. what a beautiful name.. thank you for your salvation. i loveeeeeeee you my Jesus. my beautiful beautiful savior. love you forever.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
i was thinking
we have taken your beauty
which honestly a bit messy
and we have tried to make it so its appealing
more appealing so you look good
and its not so messy
and so it looks more like beauty
but not what you worked up
in your head
.................................................inthatheadofyours..........................................
remember.. when salvation
what a beautiful beautiful word
salvation,
was when we chased after, we tasted it and wanted others to taste it and we didnt hide the truth and it wasnt about cutting corners or playing it safe.
it was about living for You and winning hearts to You.
to think about this
as just as is. this life just as is. after
is eternity.
which is a word we try to never ever use.
but what can wash aawayyyyyyymy sinnnnnn!!!
nothingbutthebloodofJesussssssssssssss
lets talk about it. lets talk and talk and talk.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then lets live in on it!!!
whoooooooooooseeeeeeeeeeeeeeREADY!!!!!!!!!
we have taken your beauty
which honestly a bit messy
and we have tried to make it so its appealing
more appealing so you look good
and its not so messy
and so it looks more like beauty
but not what you worked up
in your head
.................................................inthatheadofyours..........................................
remember.. when salvation
what a beautiful beautiful word
salvation,
was when we chased after, we tasted it and wanted others to taste it and we didnt hide the truth and it wasnt about cutting corners or playing it safe.
it was about living for You and winning hearts to You.
to think about this
as just as is. this life just as is. after
is eternity.
which is a word we try to never ever use.
but what can wash aawayyyyyyymy sinnnnnn!!!
nothingbutthebloodofJesussssssssssssss
lets talk about it. lets talk and talk and talk.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then lets live in on it!!!
whoooooooooooseeeeeeeeeeeeeeREADY!!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
good.NESS.
your faithfullness sometimes feels alone and away. and i run farther away from you, Father when i feel far away.
i blame it on you, you're a God of the quiet and still.
THIS SEASON
COUNTS
AS WELL.
they all do they all they all they all do thats so good..
and things arent going my way,
"pay attention to what you're paying attention to"
...where my treasure is...
my heart will be found there.
my focus, my heart.. FATHER.
let them be on you. on your heart.
to understand that
you are
SERIOUSLY
the only thing worth living for...
even when passion
has ran away
and a vision has been swept away.
I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO THEM. Father
TAKE THIS HEART BACK
take this mind back BECAUSE IT THINKS TOO MUCH
and i sometimes want to throw it all away
and sit in your presense
and cry in extreme gratitude.
once you taste it, i can never run away
sometimes its easier
"abuse the grace do it do it do it!!!!"
your eyes.................
your heart
I DONT UNDERSTAND
this love, i can see your eyes.. thinking of me... these tears.. "why have you forsaken me?"
never let me run away from you. keep me in your arms, Father. protect this heart its yours.
change me, change the depths of my heart. take it back
help my unbelief.
i blame it on you, you're a God of the quiet and still.
THIS SEASON
COUNTS
AS WELL.
they all do they all they all they all do thats so good..
and things arent going my way,
"pay attention to what you're paying attention to"
...where my treasure is...
my heart will be found there.
my focus, my heart.. FATHER.
let them be on you. on your heart.
to understand that
you are
SERIOUSLY
the only thing worth living for...
even when passion
has ran away
and a vision has been swept away.
I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO THEM. Father
TAKE THIS HEART BACK
take this mind back BECAUSE IT THINKS TOO MUCH
and i sometimes want to throw it all away
and sit in your presense
and cry in extreme gratitude.
once you taste it, i can never run away
sometimes its easier
"abuse the grace do it do it do it!!!!"
your eyes.................
your heart
I DONT UNDERSTAND
this love, i can see your eyes.. thinking of me... these tears.. "why have you forsaken me?"
never let me run away from you. keep me in your arms, Father. protect this heart its yours.
change me, change the depths of my heart. take it back
help my unbelief.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
your hands, my feet.
Lord-
you've seen this heart. and you hold it in your hands.
you understand this process, this heart that eagerly wants to chase after your will and righteousness.
you understand i'm your girl. learning, somethings the hard way.
my stubbornness.. sometimes i see things my way and my understanding, i lean onto it. it seems easier.
i like the reminders
of your grace, living in it. i cant think about it too much. my mind gets captivated by these what ifs and howso's and how thens and Lord, all i know is when i'm living in your presense and your will, i never want to leave.
and these buts, it becomes so complicated.
your hands offer this joy and my feet run away.
i cant explain the pull, this desire to feed me.
i ask for help, for the constant obedience.
that its not about proving anything to anyone, but to live for you and in that, i can trust that whatever happens, will happen for you.
you're brilliant. i love you.
always.
you've seen this heart. and you hold it in your hands.
you understand this process, this heart that eagerly wants to chase after your will and righteousness.
you understand i'm your girl. learning, somethings the hard way.
my stubbornness.. sometimes i see things my way and my understanding, i lean onto it. it seems easier.
i like the reminders
of your grace, living in it. i cant think about it too much. my mind gets captivated by these what ifs and howso's and how thens and Lord, all i know is when i'm living in your presense and your will, i never want to leave.
and these buts, it becomes so complicated.
your hands offer this joy and my feet run away.
i cant explain the pull, this desire to feed me.
i ask for help, for the constant obedience.
that its not about proving anything to anyone, but to live for you and in that, i can trust that whatever happens, will happen for you.
you're brilliant. i love you.
always.
Monday, August 27, 2007
the vision
So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice. They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying. What is the vision ? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose that they might one day win the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground The whisper of history in the making Foundations shaking Revolutionaries dreaming once again Mystery is scheming in whispers Conspiracy is breathing… This is the And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter! Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365. Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide.
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God.
My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice. They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying. What is the vision ? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose that they might one day win the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground The whisper of history in the making Foundations shaking Revolutionaries dreaming once again Mystery is scheming in whispers Conspiracy is breathing… This is the And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter! Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365. Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide.
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God.
My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
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